Poster Child

I came back from a business trip to find my 7-year old corporate ID photo blown up to a punchy 8.5 x 11 and then displayed on velvety black boarding along with 6 other colleagues’ photos. While I was out, e-mails, voice mails and meeting notices had piled up in an attempt to notify me of my forthcoming honor. An opportunity to have a better photo taken for the display was offered as well, albeit too late.

I am a Georgia Clean Air Campaign “Clean Air Champion”, having allegedly kept 25,000 pounds of pollution from Atlanta skies – a bench mark I did not know I was attempting to reach. I’ve received a certificate, a special commemorative gift (a.k.a. coffee mug – a.k.a. future landfill item) and the admiration (and/or snarky mockery) of my co-workers. My comrades here at the Ministry of Propaganda crafted a banner for my cube; attended my award ceremony (knowing I’d never show up on my own accord); threw me a cookie party (Huzzah!) and changed our inspiration board topic to “Reasons Julie is a better person than you:” Ouch.




I am a native of, and culturally rooted Midwesterner. One of our greatest Midwestern values is to never be accused of getting a fat head..



or too big for one’s britches.






(Google image search "pants split" - you'll be entertained for hours)

This probably explains why I’ve never been fond of accolades. I’d rather not have the attention. I also harbor a bitter grade school memory of being awarded a certificate for “Most Improved Handwriting” after having numerous pages of in-class assignments (hours of work) ripped up, by my teacher, before my eyes. Why? - because I was holding my pen incorrectly. The award was obviously motivated by the guilt of the psychotic 5th grade teacher who must have realized her teaching methods only fueled hatred and rebellion vs. motivating me to adjust my grip on a writing implement.

Another brick in the wall…

By the way, I still hold my pen incorrectly.

So, in this morally-relativistic world, I am being lauded as a model citizen for the ethos d’jour. It’s been odd as I did appreciate the cookie party and was touched that my comrades made such a fuss. I’ve also been struck and a bit frightened by some of the reactions as I attempt to downplay the whole program. People have come up to me and essentially apologized for not doing more to reduce their carbon footprint - like I might give rat’s ass.

For the record, my reasons for selling off a car and adopting a mass-transportation commuter life-style are as follows:

1. Spiritual – I have time to read, pray, write, draw and meditate (a.k.a. nap) on the train. I enjoy being among the masses – a part of the populace.
   
2. Economic – I’m cheap - another great Midwestern value. Less gas money, car insurance, no toll to pay and I win gift cards for logging my commute with the Clean Air Campaign. (That’s how this all came to be).
   
3. Political – I don’t like using my money to purchase foreign oil and potentially fund terrorism.
4. And maybe it actually does something to improve air quality. It definitely takes one more car off of Atlanta highways during rush hour. You're welcome.
   

The big to-do at work...

my cube...



cookie party!!!



Oh, and I was awarded with some kind of back massaging tool which I have donated to the group for their support of my green initiatives...